i have come to love you...

      if i could only stop what i feel for you...if i could only let it die down...if i could only put myself away from the shadow of you, then i would...
     however, it is hard to ignore this feeling so intense that i feel for you...it is so deep as the still waters, as strong as mountain standing, so tell me, how can i fight this feelings when i know, i don't even know how to do it...
     many times, i've told myself that there is no room for you and me because we are world apart. however, i cannot deny deep inside my heart... i'm still hoping for the two of us...
     i'm still hoping that someday love will give us a way to share a world...but like i said we are world apart, and i think it is really impossible for us to have a life together...
     the distance between us doesn't mean that i have to stop loving you...because i just know that i cannot do it...
     i would rather let it stay than let it go...i would rather feel the pain, if it means loving you cause it is enough for me that i have come to love you...

                                 


                        

a reminder....

 

i can't love you the way i want.....

    i'm not quite sure where to begin...

for one..i do cherish our friendship..you and i have shared things and conversations about our lives that i would never with anyone else...the main reason is because i trust you and you listen to me...and you can always make me smile..i cant answer why you have that affect on me, maybe it's the fact that we have become such good(?) friends...to be quite honest, i dont trust people very easily...
     i think that's why i did let that wall down and let you into my life and my heart, because i felt safe..., so let me ask you...why do i feel like building it back up??
     i do think that i have become a little dependant on you being there and wanting to talk to you...that doesnt necessarily mean seeing you everyday, or a three-hour phone call, but just the reassurance to know that you are in fact still there....
     i know it's not easy for you...but i'm not asking you to call me everyday..or chat on9 every nite...just send me an email....asking a few stuff like.."hi, how are you..how was your day..." ..is that too much for you..??
   
    i cant continue feeling the way that i have been lately...you give me a mixture of extreme happiness along with confusion...i long for so much more..i need so much more..maybe i have no right to need it, but i do..i've tried so hard to fight these feelings i have...but i cant do it anymore...
    i miss you..and if for whatever reason things dont work out between us, that's perfectly fine. i will take it as fate passed me by and that we just weren't meant to be together...
    whatever the outcome might be, know that i'm so happy to still have you as part of my life...
    the last thing i want is for our friendship to be ended...you've been there for me when i needed you most.
    as one chapter of my life ended, you gave me hope and you showed me reasons..
    it's difficult to be rational when emotions concerned....deep in my heart, it's me to be blamed...
    i cant love you in the way i want.....

    

no looking back...

      it truly seems like i've known you forever and i honestly can't imagine life without you now...there will be no looking back, no second thought and no regrets....
    sometimes life hits you with unexpected things that take you totally by surprise...all i can say is , you are the best surprise life has been given me...
    i've truly been blessed by finding you and i'll never let you go...there will always be a place in my heart that you'll be fondly fondly remembered....
    when i think of you,what comes to mind is all the great time we shared...you are one of those special people who make life worth living....

     

thank you....

     B...you give me the most amazing feeling inside...the feeling of being in love with you...
     this is my way of showing you how much i truly care for you...i can't really find the words to explain the way i feel when i hear your voice...all i can say is that i like the feeling that i feel....
     no matter where this life takes us...together or not...know that you will always be in my heart and my favourite....thank you...

    

best time of my life....

     i miss you when something really good happens,.. because you are the one i want to share it with...
     i miss you when something is troubling me,.. because you are the one who understands me so well....
     i miss you when i laugh and cry... because i know that you are the one who makes my laughter grow and my tears disappear...
     i miss you all the time...but i miss you the most... when i lie awake at night and think of all the wonderful times we spent with each other,.. for those were some of the best memorable times of my life....

give it a go....

      this is a new story of my life...i've met someone new...but i'm not sure how this story is going to end...
    hello you..we only knew each other for a couple of weeks and you already had me completely and totally to yourself...i don't even want to think about being with anyone else...i thought that if i stopped being friend with you, i would forget how i felt..i thought if i kept myself busy, i would be okay...but i can't forget and i'm not okay...
     i am so overwhelmed by my feeling for you...i need to hear your voice..i can't let you go without seeing you at least once.
     i know that i told you that i ain't looking to rush into anything...this has just been eating away at my heart for awhile now and i couldn't hold it in anymore... this doesn't mean that i want to run off and get married or anything crazy like that...it just means that i do love you...i am here for you whenever you need me...
     i want to spend sometime in my life with you...not necessarily forever, but i don't want things to be over right now....so..what do you say...would you like to give it a go?

                                 

i am your only love....

      hmm...it's time to start all over again....to rewrite the story of my life....i want a happy life...you're no longer with me but your memories will always stay...deep in my heart.....
    i still remember your last words...two days before you left, we had an argument about starting a new life with someone else..i thought you'd changed, that you'd found someone new..but i was wrong..now i know, it's not about you...,but me...
    it's like, you knew you're going to leave me and you wanted me to find a new love....i don't know if i am capable of doing that...but, still it helps knowing you'd given me your blessing...
    "i will always love you...you are the only one until the day i die..."and you kept your promise..i was the only love you had until the day you're taken away from my life forever....i really miss you...

    

i really miss you....

         my beloved...i really miss you...all i have now is our memories..and i'll keep them till the day i die..insyaAllah...
      you left a big hole in my heart and i don't think i'll be the same again.....miss you..miss you!!! and i don't know what to do about it....
      i hope someday i'll find a way to relieve the pain inside my heart.....

pink roses...

          hmmm...always be my favourite colour...used to have friends who called me PINK...just added this picture because it suites me....;)
       still remember a secret admirer from the past...he didn't know my name...so he called me PINK...and he bought me gifts, everythings in pink...he's really a nice guy, but i didn't consider him as someone special...just a friend i liked....i think, that's what made him go away in the end....

always friends...

      met a long lost friend in facebook...frankly, i don't quite remember who he is...just add him because we used to study at the same college....
     seems like he knows me though...(sorry for that bro..really, i cannot recall who you are...)  but, after we had a long "talk"...i felt like i've known him forever..seems to have many things in common..
      well bro...i like you a lot...thanks for the add.....hope we can be friends...if only we met in other circumtances.....we probably will end up together...but, no regrets...we will still be friends...and a good one i hope..

     

my beloved....

 

will always love you!!

 

forever in my heart...

       i must be crazy tonite coz i keep thinking of you....i hope that you know that i  will never forget you....you'll always have a special place in my heart...

my hopes...

.

       i hope one day, i 'll meet someone who can be a best friend like you used to...
     i am not looking for your replacement...just a friend who will stand by my side...who will always be there when i need him...who will love me for who i am....i hope.......  

a note for you....

  

my dreams....

      hmmm...new entry for a new blog...what to write...want to share my dreams...  i'd guess, i still have a dream...never thought it would be possible... but here i am .....
      since you'd been gone...i am quite lost without you...only Allah knows how much i miss you...sometimes, i question myself..why me?...i really need you by my side, to share all the burdens, to share all the joy with you and our kids....
how i miss you......
      somedays i feel broke inside..but for the kids, i have to go on..i have to show them how strong i am...but deep inside, i admit, i am not that strong...
sometimes i wonder,are you looking down upon me?..are you proud of me and the kids?..if only you could see us now....
     gosh...it seems that i cannot stop these tears...thinking of you always make me cry...i loved you so much!! sometimes i wish you could come back and take this pain away...take these tears away....i need your arms to hold me..i need to hold you beside me...i need you to know how much that i've missed you since you've been away....i'm dying inside....
      if i could turn back time.....but i can't..so, i'd guess i have to move on without you..i have a dream..if one day i'm going to meet someone new...i hope he'll be as good, as sweet as you...you'll always be in my heart...no matter what happen in the future....
      how i miss you...may Allah bless you always...alfatihah....